iWin A Dork
by ColorsOfTheSky101
Summary: Carly is in no mood to date Gibby. See what happens when she asks her friends for help. Seddie Oneshot.


Summary: Carly is in no mood to date Gibby

**Summary: **Carly is in no mood to date Gibby. See what happens when she asks her friends for help. Seddie Oneshot.

**A/N: **Yep yep, here's how I (and probably every Seddie fan out there) wished iWin A Date/iMatchmaker went. Hope you like!

**Disclaimer:** iDon't Own iCarly. That would be _Dan_.

**iWin A Dork**

**by Colors**

"No." Sam said flatly. "No way. Not now, not _ever_. I'm serious!" The two best friends were standing at their lockers after lunch, minutes away from fifth period Briggs. Obviously, they weren't in much of a hurry to get there.

Carly had planned this moment carefully, waiting for the time during the school day when Sam was happiest – right after lunch. Sadly, her plan wasn't going well so far.

"Aw, come on, Sam!" Carly whined. "You can't make me go out to dinner with _Gibby_ by myself! I mean, _look_ at the kid! He takes his shirt off at completely unnecessary times!" Just as she made this exclamation, Gibby walked by, carrying his schoolbooks and shirtless. When he was gone, Carly continued. "See?! Do you see?!"

"Then I'll just go by myself." Sam answered, becoming angry. Carly had done a lot of nice stuff for Sam in the past, just as Sam had done (or at least _tried_) to do nice stuff for Carly. But this, even for Sam, was too much.

"The segment's called _iWin A Date_," Carly shot back, frantically and quickly. "Not _iWin A Dinner With Carly And Her Stubborn Best Friend_! It's got to be a date, a _double_ date."

"Fine, I'll go with you." Sam crossed her arms, preparing to prove the 'stubborn best friend' thing true. "If you find someone _besides_ the dork!"

Freddie approached the two arguing girls cautiously, upon hearing 'the dork.' "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing, Freddork!" Sam said sharply, her back still to him. "Go be a geek somewhere else!"

He raised his eyebrow and walked over towards Carly as Sam stormed away. "What's her problem?" His took a swig of his water bottle.

Carly huffed. "She refuses to date you!" At the word 'date', Freddie's eyes went wide and he spit out the water onto his shoes (his mom wouldn't be too happy), gasping and coughing. Carly smiled sheepishly.

"And that's a _problem_?!" Freddie asked, shocked and annoyed, this coming from his true love. Or so he thought.

"Oh, calm down." Carly sighed. "You guys wouldn't actually have to date. You'd just go and sit together so Gibby thinks you're on the date with us, not saving me from potential life-scarring."

"Why me?!" Freddie asked loudly, "Why not…" One of Freddie's classmates from Honors Math walked by. He stopped him. "Hey Max, want to go out with Sam tonight?!"

"Sam _Puckett_?" Max asked, suddenly looking afraid. "Isn't that the girl who got detention last week for hanging Germy from the ceiling?"

Freddie winced. "Uh, yeah, but, but she's –"

"Hey look, a distraction!" Max ran. _Smart kid_, Freddie thought.

"Most guys find Sam…" Carly searched her mind for the correct phrase. "Too _bold_."

"How about _violent_?" Freddie corrected. "And I happen to be one of those guys!"

"You guys have had some good times…" Carly said, trying to be serious.

Freddie's mind flashbacked to yesterday when Sam stole his baloney sandwich. He asked for it back, and then it ended up partly in his pants and partly up in nose. "Oh yeah, loads of them."

"I don't need your sarcasm!" Carly scolded, perhaps too quickly. "I need your help. I _can't_ go out alone with Gibby! Please?" Freddie braced himself. He knew exactly what was coming. "For me?"

He groaned. "_Carly…_" She gave him a puppy dog pout. "No, not the pout…" He stood up straight. He wouldn't give in this time. "Carly, you know I'd do anything humanely possible for you, but me going on a date with Sam is not a very good idea." He turned around in the direction of Briggs' room.

"But –"

"I'll see you later." He said, before disappearing into the crowd of kids.

Carly sighed as she headed to class a few moments later.

_There's just got to be a way to get both of them there…_

* * *

"And that," Miss Briggs continued. "is how bagpipes make a better world. Now turn to page nineteen, you hooligans!"

Sam sat somewhere in the middle of the clump of desks. Her head was down on her textbook. Unfortunately (or some might say fortunately), Sam didn't hear Miss Briggs page turning announcement. She was asleep, which was not at all surprising.

Freddie had his pen in his hand, his note taking paper, pencil, mechanical pencil, ruler and calculator (some people were wondering why he had it in _English_, but oh well), but none of them were in use. He was looking at Miss Briggs, a horrified, perplexed expression on his face.

The only one who seemed to be at work was Carly, but not on anything Miss Briggs had assigned. She read over the two notes she'd just prepared; one for Sam, one for Freddie.

_Hey Sam, sorry I tried to set you up with a dork. How rude of me! Will you come by yourself? Cheesecake Warehouse at seven. It'll be a party, just you, me and Gibby…with eye witnesses…oh god, please come!_

_-Carls_

_Hey Freddie, sorry I tried to set you up with Sam. Don't want you breaking any bones, now do we? I'd really appreciate it if you came by yourself, you know, in case Gibby decides to be himself. Be at the Cheesecake Warehouse at seven. Please?_

_-Carly_

She nodded contently at her work, although inside she knew there would be major trouble once the both of them showed up. But she didn't want to hurt Gibby's feelings. For now, she just needed them there.

She sent Sam's note flying to the left, where Sam was sitting. She woke up with a start, mumbling gibberish and rubbing her eyes. Her textbook fell off her desk, and she didn't really care.

When Carly saw that Sam had found the note, and after Sam sent a glare her way for interrupting her sleep, Carly tapped Freddie on the shoulder. He turned toward her ever-so-slightly, as to not alert Miss Briggs.

He took the note with shaking hands. It was the second time in his life that he had accepted and received a note during class. The first was from Sam, and it said 'Hey dork, move your head, I'm trying to hit Miss Briggs' and he had turned around to see Sam with a bunch of spitballs and a straw.

Freddie read the note and smiled to himself. _Yes! This is the perfect opportunity! There's no way that Carly will want to talk to Gibby, so I'm the best option by default! I'll finally win Carly over with my charm and class!_ He got so excited by this thought that he accidentally stabbed his palm with his pen writing Carly back.

Sam, on the other hand, was just happy that Carly had given up that ridiculous notion of her dating _Freddie_, even if it wouldn't be real. For some reason, a person finding that a good idea made her really uncomfortable.

Freddie's response was first to arrive; _**Sounds like a plan! I'll be there!**_

And then, a couple seconds after, Sam's; _**Fine.**_

She grinned. She had a feeling that this might end up being chaotic.

But also _very_ entertaining.

* * *

"You really should've dressed nicer." Sam's mom told her daughter, as her truck pulled up in front of The Cheesecake Warehouse. "This place is _fan-cy_."

"What I'm wearing is _fine_." Sam grumbled, looking down at her outfit. She was wearing jeans, white sneakers, and light blue T-shirt over a grey long-sleeved shirt. A long, silver necklace with a star at the end finished the look. "It's not like this is a date, you know."

"Whatever." Her mom shrugged as Sam opened the car door. "Have Spencer drive you home!" And then she was gone.

"Won't _this_ be fun." Sam said, and rolled her eyes as she entered the restaurant.

* * *

Freddie stared at his closet, completely inexperienced in what you were supposed to wear on a date (well, he wasn't dating Carly, but he was hoping to win her over). He continued to think, ignoring his mother screaming and banging on his locked bedroom door.

"_Fredward Benson_! I know you're in there and preparing for a date!" she screeched. "Open this door and let me help you! I bought a new sweater vest and loafers! You better not come back with children on the way!!"

He stared at the door, horrified, and he had a feeling he wouldn't open it for a while.

His mind wandered aimlessly to Sam. He felt kind of bad. Carly had invited him instead of Sam. She was probably home all alone right now. _Maybe she's lonely_.

_Wait. _He stopped himself. _Why do I care?_

He stopped thinking completely after that and just decided on jeans and a white T-shirt with a light blue, long sleeved shirt over it. And some Randy Jackson cologne.

The hallways now appeared silent, so he cautiously opened his door, hoping his mom had given up.

But before he could react, a tall figure mauled him with a hair dryer.

"Mom, _stop_, it's not a date, and I'm going to be late!" he ran and she chased after him.

"But Fredward, your hair needs fluffing!"

He ran out the door before she could get to him.

* * *

Sam spotted Carly sitting with Gibby at a table somewhere in the middle of the restaurant. Gibby was chatting and smiling, while Carly looked like she was in Miss Briggs' class.

Carly spotted Sam and sighed with obvious relief. "Sam, over here!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Sam called back.

"Shush!" a waitress said, walking by with a tray of cheesecake. "No yelling!"

"Hypocrite!"

"Take your seat or leave!"

Carly stood up quickly, running to Sam's side.

"She's with my…friend and me." Carly explained.

The waitress rolled her eyes. "Well aren't you just a bucket of lucky." She walked away. Sam looked over at her friend.

"They've just such _wonderful_ waitresses here." She said fake-cheerfully, and then her smile faded.

"Let's just go to the table." Carly suggested, and she headed over to the table where Gibby was sitting.

"Look, Carly." He said. "I made a smiley face with bread crumbs!"

"Yay." Carly answered, through gritted teeth. Sam was now sitting next to Carly, bored as ever.

She soon noticed a fourth chair at the table and eyed Carly suspiciously. "Why is there another chair here?"

"I don't know, it's just there!" Carly said. She was very jumpy.

Sam merely rolled her eyes and took three rolls; the last three rolls. Food would have to get her through the evening.

"So, uh, what are you guys planning to do for the next iCarly?" Gibby asked.

"Oh, you know." Carly answered, trying to sound careful. "Just…stuff."

"I hope Freddie adds some cool special effects!" he said enthusiastically. "Hey, speaking of Freddie, where –"

Carly's eyes widened in fear, and she grabbed her roll and chucked it at Gibby's head. He fell off his chair with a thud.

"Ow! That was so unexpected!"

"Don't you remember what I told you?" Carly yelled, He stood up. Sam's eyebrow was raised in confusion.

"I was just going to ask you when Freddie was going to be here!" Carly slapped her hand to her forehead. "Oh…oops…" Carly had told him it was "bad luck" to mention a person's date before they arrived. She really just didn't want Sam to know he was coming, so the following wouldn't happen. But it did.

Sam's mouth gaped open and her eyes narrowed. She stood up, as did Carly immediately after.

"Uh…" Carly searched quickly for something to say. "Congratulations, Sam, you've just won a dork!"

"You…invited…_FREDDIE_?!" She began stepping toward her.

"Now, come on Sam…" Carly said nervously. "Just sit down and we can talk about this."

Her eyes flamed. "_Didn't I tell you - ?!_"

"I thought we were going on a double date with them." Gibby piped in.

"We _are_." Carly answered him, and she looked at Sam pleadingly.

"Gibby, I am not," she began. "On a –"

"Hey Carly!" Freddie came out of nowhere. "You look –" He noticed Sam. "What is _it_ doing here?"

"Fredward, you better run!" she shouted. Freddie's yelped like a girl and Carly ran over to hold Sam back.

"Sam, please just go along with it!" Carly begged.

"You lied to me!" Sam screamed back, struggling to break free of Carly.

The same waitress hurried over. "No violence in this restaurant!" she screamed. "One more move like that, and you're out of here, Goldilocks." Sam rolled her eyes as Miss Attitude left.

Gibby looked over at Freddie, confused. "What's going on?"

"Nothing Gibby, go to the bathroom." Freddie answered, distracted.

"You're right, I should." Gibby stood up. "I had some bread. I'm bread intolerant. Be right back!" He left for the moment, and Carly gulped as her two friends watched them leave.

"Great, now there will be no personal witnesses when I damage you both!" she glared at Freddie. "Did you know about this?!"

"No!" Freddie defended himself. "We were tricked, I'm guessing." Carly let go of Sam. They both turned towards her for explanations.

"Okay, okay." Carly admitted. "That boy has never had a date in his life, okay? I didn't want to go by myself, because he's creepy, but it would've been mean to cancel."

"So?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, so?" Freddie crossed his arms. For once, he was in complete agreement with Sam. He was hurt that Carly hadn't really wanted him here. She wanted him here for _Sam_.

"It's even worse to _pretend_ to like him."

"Oh trust me, I'm not." Carly said with a laugh. "But he won a date on iCarly, and if we don't give him a date, he'll go tell everybody. I can just see it now," She hunched over. "Hey everybody, iCarly is a web address of lies!" And then she did a Miss Briggs impersonation. "Quiet Gibby!" Then she turned to her two friends. "_Please_?"

"No." they both said firmly.

"But you guys could date!" Carly argued. "Gibby would buy it! It's not like it's physically impossible!"

"Yes it is!" they both said in unison again, and then looked at each other awkwardly.

"Well, you guys keep saying things at the same time." Carly pointed out, gesturing to them.

"No we're not!" And then they looked at each other. "You're not helping!"

"See?" Carly smiled. "So?"

"Nope." Freddie shook his head.

"Not happening." Sam agreed.

Carly thought for a second. "I'll pay each of you twenty bucks!"

"Thirty."

"What?"

"Forty." Freddie raised the price, smirking.

"But I don't have –!"

"Forty or we walk." Sam crossed her arms, waiting.

Carly sighed. "I'll borrow from Spencer."

"Fun doin' business with you." Sam nodded, uncrossing her arms. She narrowed her eyes at Freddie. "And _you_. Stop being on my side. It's creeping me out."

Freddie merely glared.

* * *

Gibby came back from the bathroom, and after waiting for the longest time, their waitress appeared. It was the same one.

"Hi, welcome to the Cheesecake Warehouse." She said through gritted teeth. "I'm Francine. "Are you all ready to order?"

"I'd like a new waitress." Sam said under her breath. "Ow!" Carly nudged her in the side. "I mean, uh, I'll have two plates of four cheese pasta."

"One plate of that, please." Freddie said, handing her the menu.

"House salad, please." Said Carly.

"I'll have the biggest meal you've got!" Gibby yelled. "Bring it on, sister."

"When will this end?" Carly mumbled.

"Certainly!" Francine said before walking towards the kitchen.

"So, you guys finally confessed." Gibby commented. "Cool."

Sam began shaking from anger or embarrassment. Or both. She gripped her fork on the table.

"Stay calm." Carly said slowly.

"Why is she shaking?" Gibby asked.

"She's cold." Carly answered lamely.

"Let's just say," Sam glared over at Carly. "It happened during a moment of insanity." Then she turned to Freddie and rolled her eyes.

"Ouch." Carly mumbled. Her plans didn't seem to be going too well these days.

"You've got _such_ an attitude problem." Freddie shot back.

"Better than having an ugly face!" Sam scoffed. "I can't believe I agreed to this."

"Are you sure they're dating?" Gibby asked Carly.

"Oh yeah." Carly lied. "They are. Yep."

* * *

Their food arrived eventually, and Sam was bored stiff. The table was silent except for a few comments from Gibby. Weird comments, like "Hey guys, do you think spaghetti can talk on Mars?" Sam had responded by chucking a piece of the food in question across the table.

Thankfully, Sam had planned for thing to get boring. She took out a straw from her pocket, and took a few peas from Carly's side dish, despite her protests.

Peas made the perfect spit balls.

Luckily for Sam, Francine was waiting the table next to them with her back turned. Sam aimed, but missed. She tried again, and it landed in Gibby's water (he didn't notice).

"You're not angling the straw properly." Freddie suddenly said.

"Nerd." Sam scoffed in response.

"Seriously, here." He put the straw to her lips and positioned her hands correctly.

Suddenly she was really nervous. He was dangerously close to her, and in any other instance she would've kicked him. Why not now? What was wrong with her?

"Sam!"

"What?!" she snapped at him and away from her thoughts.

"Blow!" _Oh right. The straw_. She blew hard into the straw, and sure enough, the pea flew right at the back of Francine's neck. Sam quickly hid the straw when Francine turned around and glared, and then looked away from them.

The 'couple' burst out laughing.

"We should double team Briggs on Monday." Sam said, grinning. "I mean, if you can handle it, dorky boy."

"I'd like to take up your offer," he said. "But I think spitballing _one_ Francine is about all I can handle without fainting."

"Wimp."

"I'm not a wimp!"

"Then prove it. Join me in my quest to take down the Briggasaurus." She put her hand out.

"Fine." Freddie grumbled, putting his hand out. "You're on." Sam smirked, licked her hand, and grabbed his. "Gross! Sam!"

Gibby had finished off his ridiculously large meal, and nodded his head to this music. First Date, by Blink 182 was playing. Suddenly, he stood up.

"No, Gibby, no!" Carly begged.

"Sorry, but I can feel the music!" He hopped onto the table and took his shirt off. "Woo! Woo!"

Some random girl came up and started dancing with him. "I like your moves!"

So now there were two crazy people dancing on the table.

"Gibby, you idiot! We're going to get kicked out!" Sam shouted. She'd never admit it, but it was actually becoming fun, this 'date'. She was glad Freddie was there, and, as scary as it was, she didn't want to leave. She pushed him off the table, hoping he would fall to the ground, but instead he fell down on the table and it tipped over with a crash.

Next thing they knew, they all stood up, pasta sauce and salad dressing all over them.

"Don't think I didn't see that!" Francine rushed over, grabbing Sam's arm. "You're out of here!"

"B-But he was dancing shirtless on the table!" Sam argued, pointing at Gibby.

"Out!"

"Fine, let me just get my stuff, you cranky old lady!" she glared and walked over to Freddie. Carly approached Francine and tried to explain the situation to her.

"Sam –"

"Give me a pen, paper and tape." She commanded sharply. "I know you have some. You're a nerd."

"Why?"

"Just do it!" Freddie eyed her suspiciously, but gave her what she requested. She wrote a phrase on the paper, stuck tape on top of it, and walked over to Francine.

"I'll be going now." She said with a polite smile. "Thank you so much for teaching me this valuable lesson about behavior."

"I'm glad you see it my way." Francine said. Sam merely patted her on the back and left.

When Francine turned and walked away, Freddie and Carly burst out laughing when they saw the paper on Francine's back.

_**Kick me if you want free food.**_

* * *

As soon as Sam left the restaurant and entered the parking lot, she realized that Carly was her ride home. _Ah well, I guess I'll just walk_.

She kind of liked those moments when she and Freddie weren't fighting. They were nice. Peaceful. The opposite of a lot of other things in her life, like her mom and her grades.

Freddie was so different from her. And sometimes, like tonight, that different was completely refreshing.

Too bad she'd been kicked out.

* * *

Freddie continued to sit there, staring across the room at the door.

This was what he'd wanted, right? His 'chance with Carly.' It was here. It was just him and Carly. And Gibby, but according to Sam, he was half a person, therefore didn't count.

He looked over at Carly, who looked bored as Gibby and random girl chatted. _I guess there's someone for everyone…_

"Carly?"

"Yup?"

And then he spoke. He could've said anything. He could've tried his very hardest to win over the girl he's been pining after for years.

But he told her he had to go.

* * *

"Hey Sam, wait up!" The blonde turned around to see a dork running after. He finally reached her, panting.

"Good boy." She smirked and patted him on the head.

"Ha ha." He said dryly.

"So…what are you doing here?" she asked awkwardly. Too awkwardly, forcing her to add in an insult. "And not with Carly, being a dork to win her over?" Okay, that had to be the worst insult she had ever come up with. But whatever.

"Walking with you?" he asked questioningly. "That is, if I don't get my head ripped off in the process."

"No promises," she said with a smirk. "Come on."

They walked in silence for a while, with the occasional talk about the insanity of the night.

Finally, they reached Bushwell Plaza.

"Don't you live a couple blocks down?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, but I think I'll just hang in Carly's apartment 'til she gets home." Sam answered with a shrug.

"How're you going to get in?" And then she looked at him like the answer was incredibly obvious. "Oh, right. Lock picking."

"You know it." She said proudly. They walked into the lobby, got screeched at by Lewbert, and went into the elevator.

Soon they were in the hallway.

"It's been fun." Freddie told Sam with a smile.

"Oh, oodles." She rolled her eyes.

"Well at least it wasn't boring!"

"True that." She nodded, and began to rotate towards Carly's apartment door but was taken by surprise when Freddie pulled her into a hug.

She was even more surprised when she hugged back.

"You're lucky kid." She mumbled to him, while they were still in the hug. "If you hadn't helped me spitball Francine, I would've wedgied you all over again."

"Of course," he laughed, as they pulled away. "'Night Sam."

She looked at him and nodded. "Fredward."

They walked into their separate apartments for the night.

"_Congratulations, Sam_." Carly's voice rang in her ears. "_You've just won a dork!_"

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all.

* * *

**A/N: The End. Hope you liked!**

**-Colors**


End file.
